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What we've unpacked in Ephesians 1-3 is far beyond what any human being can accomplish. Only God is able to do such things, much more than we could ask or imagine. Christian, your eternity begins here and now; you've been raised from death to life; and you're equipped with everything you need to walk in what God has promised to do in and through you— exceedingly abundantly above all that you ask or think (NKJV) Before you move on, please take some time to go back and read Ephesians chapters 1-3 over again, as I have, I know you won't regret it. May I suggest that you insert your name throughout the pages—and read it out loud for your ears to hear all that God has promised to those who are in Christ Jesus. See my last post, The Power of Reconciliation, on Ephesians 3:14-21 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/the-power-of-intercession Paul spent three chapters unpacking all of what God has done for us. Now, in chapter four, he pivots from who we are in Christ to how to walk worthy of that calling. Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Ephesians 4:1 NLT God has made you his child, an heir. He poured out His grace upon you, your inheritance. If this is you, you now know by His cost; how wide, how long, how high and how deep is His love for you (3:18). You also know that you did not earn it, nor do you deserve it; it was freely given. Consequently out of that love grows an organic response to His leading—not I have to, but I get to. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2 NLT Humble, gentle, patient—these, I believe, are not natural to man. I mean they could, I guess, show up more in some than others, but without a new heart in Christ, I do not believe they can withstand on their own. I definitely would not have used these words to describe myself, not without Jesus in me. First of all, I don't think humility even exists in the flesh. Besides, and I've asked this before, if one thinks they are humble, are they actually humble? Only Jesus humbles. Left to myself, gentle and patient I am not. I'm pretty straight forward, so I think it's safe to say that a gentle delivery is undoubtedly the Holy Spirit—and patience, well it's definitely a rare and sought after virtue. Think about the love God displayed in the previous chapters. When it actually sinks in, it produces humility; even in the darkest soul. When this happens the need to prove yourself to anyone begins to dissipate. Having all you need in Him leads to an ability to love others without expectation. In surrendering to Jesus, Paul says in Galatians 5:22-23 that the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Considering that, we do still live in these bodies, in this world, with the tempter nipping at our heels. Earlier in Galatian 5 Paul describes what it looks like if we follow the desires of the flesh; the results are the polar opposite of the fruit of the Spirit. Hence, we keep our eyes on Jesus, not on ourselves, allowing His love to overflow. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. Ephesians 4:3 NLT We are united in Christ. God created unity in the Spirit and Paul exhorts us to do everything within our power to stay united, and at peace with one another. Unity among denominational and doctrinal differences is often negligible and can cause division in the Church. The truth is, as God has shown me over the last 18 months of crazy, many of us are guilty of this in one way or another, including myself. It's amazing what a world turned upside down reveals. Fretting over these differences is senseless. Our unity is in Christ and God's Truth. God is separating the wheat from the tares in His body, revealing those who will stand on Truth, united in Him. What matters isn't agreeing on logistics, but preparing a flock as watchmen on the wall. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all. Ephesians 4:4-6 NLT Unity is woven throughout the church by what we have in common, and because of Him, it will, if we let it, outweigh the petty differences that could otherwise divide. I believe God can and will do mighty things through the united body of Christ firmly standing on His Word. However, he has given each one of us a special gift through the generosity of Christ. Ephesians 4:7 NLT We are one, but we are not the same. We are the body of Christ, of which He is the head. It seems strange but think about how cool that is. He gifts each of us as He chooses, and uses us differently, with none more important than the other. We are all needed for the body to fully function. If one part of the body is sick, the rest suffers along with it. God gives you grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ. In other words, He's equipped each of us with just the right amount of grace to accomplish all that He asks us to do with, and through, the gifts He's given. We will unpack this a bit more next time as we continue in Ephesians 4. It seems that we literally can not digest one tragic world event before another pops up. In light of the circumstances around us, let's take a moment to examine our hearts. I don't mean are we stealing or cheating (although I hope not lol ) but are we walking worthy of the Lord? Is the momentum of your life and the desire of your heart to walk worthy of your calling?

God's Masterpiece—Workmanship—Poiema, His Poetry—saved by grace and created new in Christ Jesus to do the good works that He planned in advance for us to do. He set paths ahead of time for us to take. Saved from sin, for service. Think of Mary Magdalene, after she met Jesus, do you think she did good works and followed His lead because she had to, or because she got to? Like Mary, Jesus saved me from the illusion that I ruled my own life. Most of us live in this disillusionment until something out of our control happens, like the death of a loved one, a natural disaster, a bad report from the doctor, or maybe, I don't know, a pandemic that throws the world into a downward spiral. See my last post, The Power of Grace, on Ephesians 2:8-10 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/the-power-of-grace As Paul continues his letter, he's transitioning to build on what was just said—we are saved by grace through faith; a gift from God to His beloved. But don’t take any of this for granted. It was only yesterday that you outsiders to God’s ways had no idea of any of this, didn’t know the first thing about the way God works, hadn’t the faintest idea of Christ. You knew nothing of that rich history of God’s covenants and promises in Israel, hadn’t a clue about what God was doing in the world at large. (Ephesians 2:11-12 MSG) Paul indicates that there were two groups of people in Ephesus. The first, Israel, God's covenant people. Through this line, God would bring His promised Son into the world to save the world through Him. God walked with them, training them how to walk with Him; opening their eyes to their need for Him, revealing Himself that they would proclaim Him to the rest of the world. “Israel, you are my servant; because of you, people will praise me.” (Isa 49:3 GNT) The second group were Gentiles (the rest of the world), who knew nothing of this covenant. They had no knowledge of the one true God. This is who Paul is addressing here, reminding them that they were hopeless and without God in the world—but God, in His mercy, opened their eyes, drawing them near. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 2:13 NIV) These two groups did not like each other, each of them believing they were superior to the other, creating a wall between them as they followed their own customs and traditions that took the place of God in their lives. The people of Ephesus were a divided people. A divided people—seems like a headline from today's news doesn't it? Superior ideologies, created walls, customs, traditions—all divisive and unfortunately blinding many to God. God's saving Grace is revealed in Christ. For he [Jesus] himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. (Ephesians 2:14-18 NIV) Jesus reconciles us to God in one body through the cross. It's not about tradition, or custom, or a work of the flesh. Jesus did the work. He suffered what righteousness demanded. He's the superior One. God's choice was to do what He knew we could not do. And in doing so He brought to Himself the most unlikely of people, like: Jacob the deceiver, Saul the murderer, Peter the fisherman, Rahab the prostitute, Ruth the immigrant, Jena the controller, and you, what about you? Are you ready? Are you willing? Your chariot awaits—or wait, maybe it's a U-Haul—oh well, whichever it is, let God have His way. He created you, His masterpiece, to join Him in the reconciliation process! That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles. This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home. (Ephesians 2:19-22 MSG) If you are in Christ, we have work to do, work that He planned for us to do long ago! This is a trustworthy saying: If we die with him, we will also live with him. If we endure hardship, we will reign with him. If we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. (2 Timothy 2:11-13 NLT)

John, in his Gospel, emphasizes the seven I AM statements of Jesus. The first was, "I am the bread of life." Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. (John 6:35 NLT) The people Jesus was addressing wanted nothing more than to be secure and comfortable. Boy can I relate! But Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you cannot have eternal life within you." (vs.53) What does that mean? See my last post, I AM THE BREAD OF LIFE, on John 6:32-69, https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/i-am-the-bread-of-life Jesus, now speaking to a crowd of people in the temple courts who had gathered around Him, said, “I am the Light of the world; the one who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” (John 8:12 NASB) In one statement Jesus invites the one (anyone) who walks in darkness to follow the Light of life. Of course He was challenged by the religious leaders of the day who thought they knew God fully. Just prior to this, they brought a woman in front of the crowd who had been caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses said that she should be stoned to death, but they wanted to know what Jesus thought. Why? They wanted to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him. Sadly, they were more than willing to use her. Religious position was worth more to them than her life. Jesus exposed their sinfulness by asking the one who had never sinned to throw the first stone. One by one, they dropped their stones and slipped away. (See John 8:1-11) Religion hardened their hearts and blinded them to recognizing Him as the Light of the world. Jesus went on to expose their wrong view of the Father by contrasting their sin nature with the true nature of God revealed in Him. He invited them to step into the light, but they chose instead to remain in the dark. It wasn't God they wanted, it was their own power and authority. (see John 8:12-20) I can't help but be intrigued by what those who were gathered around Jesus were thinking as He continued to challenge the leaders. This time, He addressed the crowd as well. (see John 8:21-59) “You are from below; I am from above. You belong to this world; I do not. That is why I said that you will die in your sins; for unless you believe that I am who I claim to be, you will die in your sins.” (John 8:23-24 NLT) The response to Jesus hasn't changed much in the last 2000 years so I think you can probably imagine what happened next. “Who are you?” they demanded. (vs.25a) So Jesus said, "The one I always claimed to be. . . .When you lift up the Son of Man on the cross, then you will understand that I AM he. I do nothing on my own but say only what the Father taught me. (vs.25b,28) Then many who heard him say these things believed in him. (vs.29) But did they? Because He continued by setting the bar high—not just believing, but following—exactly where He began—remember back in verse 12, "the one who follows Me." Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32) There it is—the rub. This offended them (vs.33). They initially believed—but follow? Why would they need to follow Him or be set free? Free from what? How quickly they forgot. After all, they were just reminded a few minutes ago that no one is without sin as they watched the stones hit the ground. But here we see Jesus remind them again. “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. . . .So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (vs.34, 36) They, like the religious leaders, had hard hearts. When Jesus pressed in, they pulled back. When He was finished speaking to them they picked up stones of their own, this time to throw at Him (vs.59). They didn't really want Him, they wanted what they thought He could offer them. Now, let us now go back to the woman caught in adultery. She found herself in a situation that could have cost her her life. Why would she take such a risk? I don't know, maybe she was lonely or perhaps convinced that she wasn't worth loving. For whatever reason, she surely seemed desperate enough to fill a void by any means possible. But Jesus—He saw her heart. She was now clearly broken and humble before Him. He didn't compromise the law, He extended grace to a surrendered heart. Everyone has sinned and is far away from God's saving presence. But by the free gift of God's grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free. God offered him, so that by his blood he should become the means by which people's sins are forgiven through their faith in him. (Romans 3:23-25a GNT) Light or darkness depends on where you come out on the other side of this; "Do I need to be set free?" I personally don't want to ever get comfortable with darkness again. We crave the light of Jesus whether we know it or not. Coming from someone who lived much of her life in perpetual darkness without Him, the answer is worth seeking. Each of us begin in the dark, therefore there will come a day that each of us will have to reckon with certain questions before God— Will I stand in the dark with the Pharisee who relied on His position? Am I in the dark with the crowd who relied on their own perception of truth? Or will I step into the light with the woman who knew she fell short of the glory of God and was in need of a Savior? "We can chase the wind all we want, we will never catch it. But chase God, and you'll find He's got everything you've been chasing after all along." (Pastor Kris Langham) Christ follower, you will find yourself, at times, walking through the dark; David actually called it the valley of the shadow of death (Ps 23:4). But first of all, remember, it's just a shadow. And secondly, can you imagine a better way to navigate through a dark valley than to do it with the Light of the world by your side? Be careful lest you find yourself comfortable in a man made belief system, be it religious or not. Remember, even the devil knows who Jesus is. [Jesus, the Light of the world, said], "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39 NIV)

I recently was the guest speaker at a Woman's Christmas Event. Part 1 (here) and Part 2 (to follow) of SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF—CHRISTMAS are both based on that event's teaching. Click the link below if you'd like to watch https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/speaking By the way, I haven't forgotten about our trip through the book of Ephesians. We will pick up where we left off in Ephesians 5 after we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Merry Christmas! This is Part 1 (Part 2 to follow shortly). I surrendered my life to Jesus in 2006 when I was 41 years old. One of my biggest regrets is that it wasn't sooner! I remember something I heard Kay Arthur say a long time ago. She also lived quite a bit of life before Jesus. Several years after she was saved, she was mentoring a young woman and couldn't help but think how different her life could have been if someone mentored her at that age. She remembers asking God, "Where were you when I battled sin in my life?" She then came across a couple of verses in Galatians 1 that say, "When it pleased God to reveal His Son in me. . ." In other words, what she heard God saying was, I saved you when I wanted to save you and I will use all that you've been through for my glory. That really stuck with me because I lived a lifetime without Jesus. Literally a lifetime chasing whatever I thought would fill the emptiness I felt inside of me. A girl with daddy issues, I spent most of my life searching for prince charming, believing he would some day show up and fix everything that was wrong in my life. Little did I know that that guy would eventually be Jesus—but I didn't know it yet. It's funny how you can look back and see God working all throughout your life, even before you know Him, and in my case, before I knew He was real. You see, I've wrestled with fear my entire life; still do sometimes. I remember as a kid, I just wanted to be home. I would fake sick just so I could be in my cocoon and not have to go to school. It really had little to do with school per se, I just had a terrible fear of not being home where I knew I was safe. It was kind of like that emptiness I mentioned earlier, I couldn't fill it, so I buried it. And from there, it continued into my teens and then adulthood. I could suppress it for a while, but it would always rear its ugly head. Oh, and I definitely feared God; and not in a good way. So I ran as far from Him as I could. Like I said earlier, somewhere inside of me I thought when I found the right person, he would fill me and take away my fear. Personally, I blame Fairy Tales! But I digress. At 20, scared girl moved to Florida. I think part of me thought that if I lived somewhere else, things would be different. Now my dad did live here, but unfortunately, he decided to leave three months later. But I stayed. Scared as could be, I stayed. Why? I had a boyfriend! And of course, I thought that he was going to save me. Not Jesus, but Tom; Tom was going to save me. Hilarious! Fast forward, I lived many years without God; made many bad decisions, formed just as many bad relationships and friendships. At 39, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. As you can imagine, that rocked my world, but I continued to reject the notion of God. Finally, at 41, I guess you could say at my rock bottom, my sister dragged me to church kicking and screaming. And on a rainy Christmas eve, I met the real Prince charming. However, I didn’t really know it that night. As you can probably tell, I'm pretty stubborn. I remember running out the door crying and driving what seemed like a million miles an hour, asking myself, “Where can I go to get as far away from this Jesus as possible?” So, I went to my Jewish friend's house. But when I woke up the next morning, I noticed the elephant I carried around on my chest for most of my life seemed to be missing. You see, Jesus met me when He knew I was ready. Like Kay Arthur said, God saved me when He wanted to save me. Four years later I met my husband. A man, who thankfully loves Jesus more than he loves me, and I wouldn't have it any other way! About a year into our marriage, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune condition, which triggered insomnia and I've been here for more than 10 years. Now I'm not going to lie, or act like a superhero, insomnia is really hard. Especially when coupled with a new marriage, becoming a bonus mom, and all the other difficulties of life. BUT really hard is woven all throughout scripture, isn't it? It's how we're wired to grow. I wish it was smooth and easy growing or like skipping on the beach, but it's not, because it's the difficulties that push us to Jesus. Now backing up for just a minute—I'm still not sure how it all happened, but soon into my walk I found myself working at the church I attended, leading a ministry, teaching Bible studies and somehow I started writing. You see, God saved me when He wanted to save me, and now, He was starting to use all that I’d been through for HIS glory. Okay, enough about me, now let's dig into what God has put on my heart. In Acts 17:26-28 Paul says, "From one man he made every nation of man, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' " I believe this with my whole heart. It's not always crystal clear because doubt creeps in, but according to God's word there is no doubt that He put you and I in the places in which we live, in 2021, smack dab in the middle of all that comes with it— Pandemic Division Civil unrest Obvious corruption And unfortunately a western Christianity that doesn't look much different than the world. It seems to me that God is shaking the whole earth—but more so His bride. We may not be of this world, but we are in it, and we've been called to this particular place in time, to represent Him collectively, but also for a unique individual purpose that will glorify Him and further His Kingdom. Whether you were saved as a child or later in life like me, God has determined the times set for you and the exact places where you would live. Your life is a significant part of His plan. So how do we apply any of this to Christmas? And how do we apply Christmas to any of this? Stay tuned, as we unpack that in Part 2.

Before God, I was a seemingly selfish person. I was incapable of seeing the many blessings in my life. The great thing about God is that He waits patiently for us to see Him and then He opens our eyes to all that He has given us. One of the blessings I saw was my nephews. I have two nephews who I love very much. But I was always too selfish to see how much they loved me back. How much they wanted me to be more a part of their lives. Before God I spent very little time with them. I was so busy filling my days with nonsense that I could not seem to fit them in, never realizing that in the meantime they were growing up. The next blessing I saw was life itself. You see, I am a cancer survivor. Before God, I was so afraid of dying. Dying was the end in my mind, filled with darkness, loneliness, and hopelessness. Actually what I just described was my life. When they found the cancer I cried, but the “cancer” part never really sunk in. I went through the motions of the physical part, the surgeries, the pain, the healing. But I never identified that I actually had cancer until several months later when they told me that I needed to have scans on my lungs. Lungs I said, why lungs? The nurse said because the kind of cancer I had could metastasize in my lungs. That is when I realized I had had “cancer”. I was so afraid. I went into a depression. Then shortly after, my cat (my child of 18 years) developed cancer in her eye. She had surgery, bounced back like a kitten again, but then died 3 months later when the cancer metastasized throughout her body. She truly was my child and I had no idea how to live without her. Not to mention, I saw my own mortality through her cancer and her death. I went even deeper into a depression. In my mind, even though I had an amazing family, I was more alone than I ever had been before. I spent my whole life living for tomorrow and never, ever saw today. I was so lost in tomorrow, that during the 18 years of my cat’s life I was so stressed about losing her that I forgot to enjoy every minute that God gave me with her. I never enjoyed today. Not in my relationships, not on vacations, not my health. I was so busy chasing tomorrow. Then suddenly tomorrow had “cancer” in it, possibly death. And I had lost my lifeline of 18 years to the same disease. I had no relationship with God. I wasn’t even sure he existed. As a matter of fact I was sure if he did exist, he surely didn’t like me at all. So what did I do? I cried, A LOT. I felt sorry for myself. I lost tons of weight and did not leave my house for three months other than to go to work, and still continuing to develop toxic relationships. Until one day my sister dragged me to church. God spoke to my heart so passionately and grabbed a hold of me and He's never let go. We are made in the image of God and we thirst for Him every minute of every day. Jesus said, "Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14. We are so stubborn and blind that we don’t see Him until life brings us to our knees, and even then, we sometimes miss Him. Thank goodness God never gives up on us. He loves us so much that even when we turn our backs on Him, He is always there waiting until we're ready to recognize that He is all we need. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. 2 Timothy 2:13 God's love for us runs deep; so deep that He gave up everything to secure it. We travel many roads in search of peace, looking for it in all the wrong places; thinking it can be found in another person, in power or prestige, or in the next shopping spree. Not knowing God and being under the influence of the enemy, I didn't have a clue what it meant to have peace in Jesus. The devil convinced me that Jesus wasn't real; that if God even existed, He must not care about me or my life wouldn't be so difficult. Without knowing His word, how could I know His promises. I am so grateful that sadness, cancer, and loss brought me to my knees; and that my sister paid attention to the nudge of God. She took me where I needed to be to find Him; where I found hope, peace, and life in Jesus. Thank You God for loving me so much—Thank You for being patient—Thank You for forgiving me—Thank You for choosing me so I could choose You. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. Colossians 1:13-14

A friend of mine gave me a small frame and a dry erase marker. Written across the top of the frame are the words "Today’s Truth". It’s the cutest thing. I love it. It sits on my desk. I can display a thought or truth for today and easily erase and replace tomorrow. For the longest time I had written on it “God, please teach me to say it is well with my Soul.” I had heard the song and it struck me, as if for the first time, that the writer, who I know went through the terrible loss of his family, wrote these words, “Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul”. And my immediate thought was, “he said taught. I want to say taught. How do I get there, God?” I have learned that in my own strength its entirely impossible. I’ve shared in past posts that I struggle with fear and I’ve been on this journey of learning how to truly trust God. I mean really trust Him no matter what life throws at me. The contrast of these two things could not be more difficult. How does a fearful girl put her trust in a God she cannot see? And, more importantly, why does this girl, who loves Jesus so much, struggle with fear anyway? Okay, I’m not a fan of “steps” but in this case the bible says that we destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) I know that taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ would change everything. Don’t you wish it would happen naturally? I do. But I can honestly say it doesn’t, not for me anyway. Maybe this is just my opinion, but I don’t believe it does for most. Not sure that’s what God intended anyway, or it would be in our own strength not His. It’s obvious to me that fear is a stronghold in my life. And if I believe (and I do) that fear is a learned behavior, then I must believe that it can be unlearned. And this, my friends, can only happen by the Grace of God… and a commitment to seeking. God doesn’t change us without our willing participation. That is part of our free will choice. He won’t force His ways on us. We can’t do it ourselves, but we can’t just sit and wait for Him to do it either. It takes both. It is His absolute desire for nothing to hinder His plan for our lives, but faith must have legs. Now I know that God could ask me to do many things to help me overcome the fear in my life.  We’ve all heard stories of people jumping out of airplanes. Well, at this moment, I’m grateful that He knows me. He made me. He’s gentle. Baby steps. For now, He’s simply asking me to trust Him by getting on the plane. I will let you know, IF the time comes, that He instructs me to jump. Stopping here for an Amen! Life can cause deep wounds. And with my personality and temperament pain causes me to go into protection mode. Protection mode causes the illusion of control. The illusion of control brings fear…. every time. And with fear comes lack of trust. God brought me to this beautiful passage of scripture in Isaiah 40 many times over the past few weeks. I know He is reminding me over and over who He is and that He has everything under His control. Everything. His love never fails. 26 Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. 27 O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? 28 Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. 29 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. 30 Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. 31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Christian Writer, Oswald Chambers writes,” If I will do my duty, not for duty’s sake but because I believe God is engineering my circumstances, then at the very point of my obedience all of the magnificent grace of God is mine through the glorious atonement by the Cross of Christ.” Pastor Max Lucado writes, “When God comes,” we doubters think, “all pain will flee. Life will be tranquil. No questions will remain.” And because we look for the bonfire, we miss the candle. Because we listen for the shout, we miss the whisper. MercyMe’s song Even if says, “Give me the strength to be able to sing “It is well with my soul”. With complete transparency, please ask yourself, have you mastered trusting God in all circumstances, no matter what He brings or allows? Has God taught you or are you seeking Him to teach you as I am? Father, this is my prayer. At the end of this journey may you find us singing that Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul. Please lead the way as we trust You. In Jesus name, Amen Today my frame says “I want God more than I want any lesser blessing!” May I always be in a teachable place with my Father. I wonder what your frame would say??

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1 (AMPC) As I have shared recently, I am on a journey backward over the past six years visiting altar moments. What are altar moments? They are moments of remembrance when I have surrendered control to the power of God. An altar in the Bible was a place of laying something down, offering it up to God. Gotquestions.org says, “An altar was often built to commemorate an encounter with God that had a profound impact. Every human heart has an invisible altar where the war between the flesh and the spirit rages. When we surrender areas of our lives to the control of the Holy Spirit, we are in effect laying that area on the altar before God.” Giving up control is hard for most. Even those who believe they do not have control issues (which, by the way, I am not one of them).  Fear drives control. Control gives a false sense of security. That’s why the more we try to control, the more control is needed. It’s a perpetual cycle that could eventually drive the sanest person mad. As much as I hate to admit it, trials train. It seems that the principle of the cliché “no pain, no gain” came from God Himself. We see this in places like Romans 5, 3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Altars are like the stepping stones of remembrance that lead to freedom. I want freedom where there is bondage, don’t you? My bondage is fear. As I look back over my journey, I see stepping stones that God has turned into milestones.  Every encounter with fear gives me an opportunity to lay it down before Him, to learn or even more so unlearn that which holds me down. When I have chosen to do so, faith replaced fear.  To me, this is the confident hope of salvation we see in Romans 5.  Although I know that God saved me the moment I said yes to Jesus, from that moment to Glory is a journey to unveil beauty from ashes. Will God ever fully deliver me from my bent toward fear this side of heaven? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just the weakness He allows in me to draw me to Him. In the meantime, when fear rears its ugly head, I pray that I will continue to see the stepping stones that represent my laying it before Him.  Then I can see His fearlessness and strength, His protection and love, and His heart and purpose in all I experience. And step by step, faith will shatter fear. Have you had moments of surrender to God that had a profound impact on you? This is an altar moment you may want to remember. Maybe for you, like me, seeing each stepping stone will lead you to freedom from whatever binds you. Father, I never want to forget the altar moments where You’ve given me Your strength to lay down one fear at a time. When I close my eyes, I see Jesus reaching toward me, lifting my head as I hear these words… Though a thousand fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you.  For I will cover you with my feathers, and under my wings shall you trust and find refuge.  Psalm 91:7,4)

Indeed, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested and chosen you in the furnace of affliction. Isaiah 48:10 (Amp) I think I can safely say that this is probably not a popular life verse. As if the furnace of affliction isn’t scary enough, some translations call it the furnace of suffering. God’s will, we say that’s what we want. But what happens when God’s will and my will seem to be going in opposite directions? Unfortunately, because of the strength of the human will, God uses pain and brokenness as a teacher. Opposite directions? Pain and brokenness? But I love Jesus. Shouldn’t my life make sense? Shouldn’t the oddly shaped pieces fit into their matching oddly shaped holes? We reason that God must not want brokenness because Jesus came that they may have life, and have it abundantly? Does abundant life mean easy sailing? Sadly, no. I don’t see many, well any, easy sailing lives in scripture. Paul said that trials produce endurance, and endurance strength in character, and character, a confident hope of salvation. So, why do we avoid pain at all cost; in ourselves and in those we love? We’re the pain police, aren’t we? Our mantra is, deflect and/or alter any circumstance that may cause consequence. Whether it be avoiding bad or orchestrating good, protect at all cost! But if God uses life experience and choice, which most definitely include pain and brokenness, to shape character, then aren’t we “protecting” ourselves and others right out of the will of God and into our own? Am I willing to let God do in me that which makes what He planned for me in advance come to life in my human flesh? Are you? Do we really want to live out His purpose, His way? Hebrews 12:11 says, For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems sad and painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness [right standing with God and a lifestyle and attitude that seeks conformity to God’s will and purpose].(Amp) Chris Fabry said this recently on one of his radio broadcasts… “This world, as it is, was not meant to assuage us, to fill us, to meet all of our needs…This world was meant to break our hearts…. It was designed to break our hearts, so that we would seek true life and not something else.” True life. He saved us. So true life is a life designed by God, for God. In the refining process a silversmith dips the silver into the fire. A waste product called dross rises to the top and is removed. He dips and dips knowing that the more dross he removes, the higher the value of the metal. When he’s finished, his fuzzy reflection, in the purified silver, becomes clear. God uses the same process with us. The more dross He removes, the more He sees His reflection. Cease striving and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10 NASB). In striving for a pain free life; to have more, be more, do more, living as if this life is most important, are you missing the beauty of knowing God intimately by trusting Him who created you on purpose, for purpose? And by avoiding the process He has chosen; do we risk missing the beauty in the making? Let’s face it, pain stinks. But God will never waste a single moment of it. If we can find the courage to let God be God, in our lives and the lives of those we love, I believe we will witness the miracle of watching Him turn broken into beautiful. Father, none of us would choose pain as our teacher. But as we read Your Word, we see You turn pain into beauty.  By nature, we’re protective. We naturally want to protect ourselves and those we love. But God, remind us that we don’t need protection from You. You love with an everlasting love. Help us to trust You in the circumstances You allow, knowing that You work all things for good…. All Things. We love you, In Jesus name, Amen.

Have you ever been misunderstood? I remember, as a child, the sting of being accused of something that was different than my intention. I was often told that my personality was overly dramatic, or abrasive, or aggressive. I was a kid, I had no idea how to do anything about that, so I just tried to hide it as best I could. So many times I wished I was anyone but me. As I got a little older, and definitely rebellious, I believed the lie that I had a personality defect. I lived out loud so to speak, resulting in many tears and apologies. And somewhere along the way, I decided what little I knew about God wasn't useful. He obviously made a mistake and He couldn't change me, so I walked away from Him and any notion that He would. Fast forward to my forties when Jesus met me in my most broken place. He called me to Himself. He reminded me that He made me exactly as I am on purpose and He would use the me He made for His glory. However, I'd need to follow Him wherever He leads. After all, my ambition to fill myself, to fit in, to be accepted and happy (whatever that means) was such a fruitless and impossible endeavor. It's definitely been a journey (that evidently I'm still on) to accept me for me and realize that He didn't make a mistake after all. Recently, I felt like that little girl hiding all over again. I've had to defend my intentions several times over the past few months. Remember, I'm a drama queen—Just Kidding (well, kind of). My reactions were sure dramatic as I camped in the aisle of defeat believing the lie instead of believing God. I often say that the Christian walk is as much unlearning as it is learning. I guess you can take the girl out of the bad thinking, but it's much more difficult to take the bad thinking out of the girl. I admit, I still struggle with wanting the approval of others. And when I let that take over, nothing good happens. I can easily forget that God made me me on purpose and I especially forget that I am fully loved and redeemed. In the middle of my reactions, pity party and apologies, my Father gently reminds me, yet again, that I am His masterpiece, His handiwork and that He created me anew in Christ Jesus to do the good things, the good works which He prepared in advance for me to do. (based on Ephesians 2:10). I want that, don't you? Don't you want to do what God prepared you—and for you—to do. He's not a killjoy. He's definitely not boring. Think about it, it's God we're talking about. He made us, how could what He asks of us not be better than whatever we could come up with ourselves? There will always be times that we are misunderstood; what's important is how we react. I don't know about you, but when I take my eyes off Jesus, even for a moment, I can easily sting others. The ongoing reel in my head is, "Be quick to listen and slow to speak! Look back before you react! It will save everyone a whole lot of grief. Oh, and allow God to lead you to apologize with a sincere heart." (I'm going to take a journey through the book of Ephesians. I hope you'll join me. I love this book. I think now is a good time to let God remind us of who He is and who we are in Him. But first, I may do one more post on God's redeeming love. Not sure yet, but stay tuned.) Father, may we never forget the things we've walked through that led us to You. Many would say to forget the past, but I say that each experience You've allowed has had an influence in shaping us into a mold You can use to display Your glory. Help us to see the beauty in how uniquely we're made. Give us eyes to recognize the good things that You prepared long ago for us to do. I pray that the roads we travel in Ephesus bless many beyond measure. In Jesus name, Amen. Have you ever questioned the way God made you? If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear from you.

Now fully His, she dances the dance of grace. She was not even aware she could dance, let alone dance the dance of grace. If you follow her story, you know it did not start that way. Metaphorically, she had, as we all do, two left feet that stumble. As the King led, little by little, she began to feel the music, only to find herself apprehensive and afraid to dance. Nevertheless, knowing what a beautiful dancer she could become, He continued to reach for her hand. The fullness of grace is in Jesus Christ and if you carry His name, He is within you. In perfect sync, He increases as you decrease. See my last post on Song of Songs 6:11-7:3 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/you-are-truly-the-poetry-of-god The Man (King Solomon): Your neck is carved ivory, curved and slender. Your eyes are wells of light, deep with mystery. Quintessentially feminine! Your profile turns all heads, commanding attention. The feelings I get when I see the high mountain ranges —stirrings of desire, longings for the heights— Remind me of you, and I’m spoiled for anyone else! Your beauty, within and without, is absolute, dear lover, close companion. You are tall and supple, like the palm tree, and your full breasts are like sweet clusters of dates. Songs 7:4-7 MSG Laser focused on her King, the dance continues. They glide across the dance floor with grace and truth on display. Grace and truth, it's woven throughout their love story. Jesus came to heal, not hurt—to forgive, not condemn. The Law condemns, but Jesus forgives. He leads with Grace and lands on Truth. The King's redeeming love has crowned His bride as royalty. She is as tall as a strong tower, as flavorful as the salt of the earth and a light that cannot be hidden. I say, “I’m going to climb that palm tree! I’m going to caress its fruit!” Oh yes! Your breasts will be clusters of sweet fruit to me, Your breath clean and cool like fresh mint, your tongue and lips like the best wine. Yes, and yours are, too—my love’s kisses flow from his lips to mine.Songs 7:8-9 MSG Rejoicing over her, His desire has always been that she love Him with all of her heart. He stimulates that desire and the fruit it will produce—revealing His glory through the gifts He's placed within her. The Woman: I am my lover’s. I’m all he wants. I’m all the world to him! Come, dear lover— let’s tramp through the countryside. Let’s sleep at some wayside inn, then rise early and listen to bird-song. Let’s look for wildflowers in bloom, blackberry bushes blossoming white, Fruit trees adorned with cascading flowers. And there I’ll give myself to you, my love to your love! 13 Love-apples drench us with fragrance, fertility surrounds, suffuses us, Fruits fresh and preserved that I’ve kept and saved just for you, my love.Songs 7:10-13 MSG She separated herself to her King—to get away together—to refresh and recharge. Oh, how His beloved has matured. She is completely aware that He alone is her lifeline. Equipping her with everything she needs for facing giants, He's empowered her to care for the lost—the broken—the curious. One with Him, nothing stands in her way. Jesus often withdrew into the wilderness, by Himself, to separate Himself to God. He sought the will of His Father and relied on the power of the Holy Spirit in all He did. Where does your strength come from?

Lately God has brought many people in my life who do not know Him and I feel so privileged and honored that He chooses to use me. I just know He is giving me the seeds to plant and He will water them. But I have to say that nothing hurts my heart more than hearing someone say they’re a true atheist. And then to hear about all the “Giants” they face. It’s sad to me because I know the difference between facing “Giants” without God in your life and facing them with Him. Three things are true about giants: 1) Giants don’t surrender, you’ve got to take them out 2) Giants see you the way you see you 3) Giants are not giants compared to God Compared to you that disease is overwhelming. Maybe that financial struggle is so big that you can not even imagine getting through it. Or your relationship seems beyond repair. But with God, giants are not so giant. Casting Crowns song “Voice of Truth” says The giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me reminding me of all the times I tried before and failed...the giants keep on telling me time and time again,"Boy, you'll never win" But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground and the waves they don't seem so high from on top of them lookin' down. I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me If you do not know God, it seems impossible to understand this. Coming from someone who did not know Him for most of my life, the difference is worth seeking. The end result is not 'never having giants', but facing those giants with His armor and His confidence to 'take them out'. Gaining all the equipment we need starts first by simply seeking.

When I think of how long it took me to find God it makes me want to kick myself. To know this feeling of completeness, of true joy, of trust, of just knowing that no matter what comes my way that All Mighty God has my back, is to know what the true meaning of the word PEACE is. I mean we all go through our trials, our aches and our deep pains of life and loss. But it really is different when you know God. When you finally come to the realization that he put on flesh, suffered beyond words, climbed willingly on a cross and died for you just because he loves you changes everything. Everything you think, feel, do and say. You want everyone you see to have the same feeling. You start thirsting to know all you can soak in about Him. You want to know him on a personal level. I have discovered that this is what we need to base our feelings of “true love” upon. We try to seek our true love through the flesh. Spending all my time seeking tomorrow, I never worried or even paid attention to today. My security depended on my career, my insurance portfolio, my home, my financial portfolio, my significant other of the time. Never thinking about God, never believing or understanding that He was all I needed. I chased the dream of the perfect relationship. If only I had the perfect man for me. He would save me from this dreary life. We would conquer the world. We would be the “love” that everyone wanted to have. I mean, isn’t this what we learn from fairy tales. That all we need to do is find our Prince and we will live happily ever after. Never did any fairy tale ever tell me to (Matthew 6:33-34) Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and he will give me everything I need. It doesn’t say He will give me the man I need, it says everything I need. Someone needs to write a fairy tale about that. Without God there are no princes or happily ever afters. Period. We spend our lives worrying about tomorrow. Will I have enough money, will I ever find my prince, am I pretty enough, smart enough, and will I stay healthy. God says (Phil 4:6-8) Don’t worry about anything instead pray about everything, tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything you can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Fix your thoughts on what is true , and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think of things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Most of us only wish we learned as children what it means to focus on God’s word, to put it into practice. Exposure to God’s word is not enough. It must lead to obedience. He provides us with a book that if we followed it, if we just listen to Him, we would live peaceful, full lives. He supplied us with everything we need, we just as humans continue to try to do it our way, thinking that God may need our help. God says (Jeremiah 29:11-13) I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope. In those days you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly you will find me. And I say when you find Him is when, and only then, your life will truly begin.

The young woman's devotion sparked a curiosity in those around her. As they wonder why she is willing to endure such affliction, they ask, "What is it about Him?" The question prompts her to remember that He alone is her Beloved; she then turns to them and recites the beauty of who He is. See my last post on Song of Songs 5:9-16 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/he-alone-is-my-beloved The Chorus: So where has this love of yours gone, fair one? Where on earth can he be? Can we help you look for him?.” Songs 6:1 MSG The young women move from curiosity to desire—pivoting from, 'What is it about Him' to ' Where on Earth can He be?' I remember when I first realized the magnitude of the love of Christ? Most of us grew up in some kind of belief system; many with Jesus at the helm. For me, I was raised in a religion with a dead Jesus, where the concentration was primarily on what He did, overshadowing who He is. It was difficult for me to comprehend His love through institutional dogma. However, God uses ordinary people, who have themselves wrestled through faith questions of their own, to draw others to His true identity. The Woman: “Never mind. My lover is already on his way to his garden, to browse among the flowers, touching the colors and forms. I am my lover’s and my lover is mine. He caresses the sweet-smelling flowers." Songs 6:2-3 MSG Once she's able to move past the emotion that plagued her, her eyes open to the truth; she realized she knew exactly where to find Him. He is within her—they are one—and nothing can separate them. Most people may not say this out loud, but when we fall short, we secretly wonder if God will turn His back on us. I wonder if it's because that's what we would do? In contrast, Jesus says to His bride—even while knowing every single decision she will ever make, good and bad— "In My Father’s house are many rooms; if that were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I am coming again and will take you to Myself, so that where I am, there you also will be." John 14:2-3 NASB Not only will He never turn His back, but is currently preparing a place for us. The Man (King Solomon): Dear, dear friend and lover, you’re as beautiful as Tirzah, city of delights, Lovely as Jerusalem, city of dreams, the ravishing visions of my ecstasy. Your beauty is too much for me—I’m in over my head. I’m not used to this! I can’t take it in. Your hair flows and shimmers like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full— expressive and strong and clean. Your veiled cheeks are soft and radiant. Songs 6:4-7 MSG She is as beautiful to Him as she was the day they first met. His love has never been based on her performance, it's always been based on His Promise. He never changes His mind about you. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. There’s no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She’s a woman beyond compare. My dove is perfection, Pure and innocent as the day she was born, and cradled in joy by her mother. Everyone who came by to see her exclaimed and admired her— All the fathers and mothers, the neighbors and friends, blessed and praised her: 10 “Has anyone ever seen anything like this— dawn-fresh, moon-lovely, sun-radiant, ravishing as the night sky with its galaxies of stars? ”Songs 6:8-10 MSG It's impossible to ignore that this year has tested and exposed the faith we hold. Bear with me here as I try to explain. God revealed to me, through the many trials of 2020, that I find it much easier to understand His love on a corporate level than I do on a personal one. I know God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, but I struggle with God so loved Jena, personally. The King expresses so beautifully His love for His bride. Yes, those of us, who have turned their lives over to Jesus, we collectively form His bride. But God says that one is my beloved—the perfect one—and that one is me, and that one is you. We are each, individually, His beloved bride, made righteous by the blood of Jesus. And nothing, but nothing, can ever take that away. I literally have to remind myself of this minute by minute as it does not come naturally for me. As we wait expectantly for this year to end, I pray He not only opens the eyes of the blind, but widens the eyes of those of us who already see.

As she searches for her Beloved in the dark of the night, she's mistaken and misjudged, beaten and bruised by the very ones who are supposed to protect her. Because she doesn't fit their narrative, they treat her as unworthy. Though she suffers these things among them, she asks the young women to promise her that if they find her Beloved they'll tell Him that she is sick with love for Him. See my last post on Song of Songs 5:7-8 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/i-ve-been-pierced-through-by-love The Young Women of Jerusalem: “O woman of rare beauty, what is it about your loved one that is better than any other, that you command us this?” Songs 5:9 TLB The women are curious about this love. Why is she willing to endure such affliction? She is most beautiful after all; are there not plenty of others to love her? Why does she hold so tightly to Him? Suffering in itself is difficult, but reconciling it to God seems ambivalent. Sometimes, at least for me, it's easier to believe it's by chance than by design. Oswald Chambers wrote, "When it comes to suffering, it is part of our Christian culture to want to know God’s purpose beforehand. In the history of the Christian church, the tendency has been to avoid being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. People have sought to carry out God’s orders through a shortcut of their own. God’s way is always the way of suffering— the way of the “long road home.” “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is narrow and the way is constricted that leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:13-14 NASB She answers her friends in adoration for her Beloved. Her view of Him now much clearer— The [Woman]: “My beloved one is tanned and handsome, better than ten thousand others! His head is purest gold, and he has wavy, raven hair. His eyes are like doves beside the water brooks, deep and quiet. His cheeks are like sweetly scented beds of spices. His lips are perfumed lilies, his breath like myrrh. His arms are round bars of gold set with topaz; his body is bright ivory encrusted with jewels. His legs are as pillars of marble set in sockets of finest gold, like cedars of Lebanon; none can rival him. Songs 5:10-15 TLB She can't help but share with them the wonders of His Person. The strength of His love sustains her, giving her life. He alone is her Beloved. His mouth is altogether sweet, lovable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my beloved, my friend. Songs 5:16 TLB While traveling, so far, with this young woman, we've discovered that the journey with Him is not an easy one. As we surrender more, He'll take the heavy burdens and exchange them for the lightness of His. Circumstances may not change, but by turning the reins over to Him, He promises the mountainous view will. Tribulation reveals a pearl of great price. “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” Mark 10:27 She began broken, insecure, and believing herself to be unworthy of His love; and so out of His love, He brought her to a crossroads of sorts— Wide or Narrow? She chose the latter. We each have a choice set before us, and the difficulties of life can sway us either way. Which will you choose—Wide or Narrow?

Comfort and Security—Complacency—Hesitation—Apprehensive about going deeper still—A King's silence and a Bride's longing heart. See my last post on Song of Songs 5:2-6 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/open-your-heart-deeper-still-to-me If you haven't already noticed, this is a story about you and me. Broken and unworthy; defined by life. Pursued by a Redeemer. You long for Him, yet hide yourself. He continues to pursue, yet waits to be chosen. Shifting shadows of fear linger. Never leaving you, He steps back to give you space to realize that His love is bigger than any obstacle in the way. Despite any remaining fear, you choose to go away with Him. He plants His seeds into your weaknesses and His strength grows out of them. Bearing His fruit, you're His and ready to be used. Yet, in the comfort and security of His love, your devotion begins to slumber. He knocks on the door of your heart and pleads with you to go deeper still. Solid Rock foundations withstand the storms of life; the deeper your relationship, the stronger your foundation becomes. But you hesitate, as does the young woman who asks, "Isn't that enough?" When she finally opens the door to her soul, suddenly He's gone and she rushes out to find Him The guards found me and struck and wounded me. The watchman on the wall tore off my veil. I adjure you, O women of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved one, tell him that I am sick with love.” Songs 5:7-8 TLB As she searches for her Beloved in the dark of the night, she's mistaken and misjudged, beaten and bruised by the very ones who are supposed to protect her. It's unusual for a woman to be out alone at night, so the overseers make an assumption that she couldn't possibly be His bride. Because she didn't fit their narrative, they treat her as unworthy. I think we've all experienced a crushing of our spirit in some way. For me, God has brought a specific picture to mind. Chronic illness makes people extremely uncomfortable. Those around me truly don't know what to do, and even more, what to say. Insomnia for ten years doesn't fit their narrative. It must be something I'm doing; or maybe not doing. I've been encouraged to try harder—to not try so hard—to pray for some specific sin to be exposed—or oppression to be lifted. It's been suggested that my health issues may be a result of the fear I wrestle with—but the most crushing of all is the indication that I don't have enough faith. I have definitely felt the sting that the woman describes in her dream. The truth is, I realize as I write this through tired watery eyes, that with just one touch of His finger, God could render me sweet sleep. I'm not sure why He chooses not to. Some days that makes me angry; other days sad. But believe it or not I do have joy filled days. I will not walk away; who else would I go to? He has the words that give life that lasts forever. Maybe my issues are because of something I'm doing or maybe not doing, but His eyes are always on me, guiding me to wherever and whatever He chooses. Our view is limited; His view is complete. “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45-46 NKJV

She belongs to Him. God plants His seeds into our weaknesses and His strength grows out of it. When One with Him, we bear the fruit of the Vine. She is a well watered garden, set free and ready to be used. See my last post on Song of Songs 4:10-5:1 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/walk-with-me-until-i-am-fully-yours The [Woman]: “One night as I was sleeping, my heart awakened in a dream. I heard the voice of my beloved; he was knocking at my bedroom door. ‘Open to me, my darling, my lover, my lovely dove,’ he said, ‘for I have been out in the night and am covered with dew.’ “But I said, ‘I have disrobed. Shall I get dressed again? I have washed my feet, and should I get them soiled?’ Songs 5:2-3 TLB He's knocking, but instead of immediately getting up to let Him in, she hesitates. Is she selfish? I suggest another possibility; apprehension. If she opens herself more to Him, what will He ask of her? Perhaps, it's a way of holding onto control? Have you ever hesitated when God has asked you to go deeper with Him? I know I have. In comfort and security her devotion begins to wane. I think we can all identify with her to some degree. Complacency comes easy doesn't it? I suppose it's part of the human condition. Our tendency is to not rock the boat. If the water is smooth, why make waves? My nature is even to get comfortable in the uncomfortable—it's easier than change for me. But God has a much different perspective than I do. Was she experiencing a dark night of the soul? Maybe at this point she has let Him into her heart as much as she knows how. Jesus continually prompts the heart of His bride to go deeper still. He knows, as a parent does a child, when we're ready to take the next step. But like a child, the journey is not always an easy one. I don't like that it's in the storms of life that faith flourishes. I'd much rather it be while eating donuts and laughing with friends. However, it's pain that builds muscle. Pain helps develop endurance, endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens the confident hope of salvation (Rom 5). In other words, pain develops the most essential muscle we need for living—faith. The foundation of life is hidden; and it's either built on sand or solid Rock. Storms will come; what are you building your life on? The good news in all of this is that He never gives up on us. He already knew we'd hesitate. He is not after better behavior, He's after your willing heart. Behavior will follow. He knows what you need more than you do. “My beloved tried to unlatch the door, and my heart was thrilled within me. I jumped up to open it, and my hands dripped with perfume, my fingers with lovely myrrh as I pulled back the bolt. I opened to my beloved, but he was gone. My heart stopped. I searched for him but couldn’t find him anywhere. I called to him, but there was no reply. Songs 5:4-6 TLB From her perspective, she surrendered too late. She may have initially hesitated to protect her heart, but now she's broken hearted without Him. Last time she doubted her worth; this time the object of her faith is in question. It's in His silence she realizes her longing for Him. There are times when God has nudged my heart to grow my faith, and like this young woman, I've hesitated. I definitely feel as though, many times, I hesitate too long. As my friend says, "I just want to graduate." The longer insomnia lurks, from a fleshly perspective I long for the day that I have my health back—but more than that, I want Jesus. Because of a flawed lens, I tend to equate His silence with abandonment. My desire is full confidence in His love, no matter what life throws at me. Is God challenging you to go deeper still?

He is assuring her that she is most beautiful of all. It's only in the security of His love that we find the ability to hold tightly to Him as He molds and shapes our character into His likeness. The more time we spend with Jesus, the more like Him we become. See my last post on Song of Songs 4:1-9 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/come-with-me-through-the-archway-of-trust This has been a year full of trial and tribulation. We've had to navigate through uncharted territories of all kinds. And I think it's probably safe to say that most of us already had a full plate on the table. I know God led me to this book for such a time as this. We see from the beginning that she is honest about her fears. She hesitates, as she holds back in doubt, and wonders if she will ever be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough or pure enough to be truly loved by her King. I understand her well. I don't know about you, but my default is not always faith. In the twists and turns of life, I can find that I'm not walking forward in faith, but instead, many times in fear; while holding my breath hoping for the best outcome. When I face something difficult, I typically start with fear—which eventually gives way to surrender—and surrender leads to faith. I share this a lot, but I always hesitate. Why? Because the Christian narrative says that fear is a sign of unbelief. It saddens me that many people, especially Christians, find it difficult to be transparent for fear of judgment. I believe transparency brings freedom and the lack holds in bondage. The truth is, I'm not sure why I struggle with fear. I love Jesus and I am devoted to Him. I often wonder if the pull toward fear is just part of my personality—or life circumstance—or maybe it's a learned behavior. I'd venture to say it's probably all of the above; and the fact of the matter is, not only do I know it, so does my enemy. But God knows better than me. Knowing my strengths and weaknesses, He created me with a bent toward fear. Actually, I believe, our greatest strength comes out of our greatest weakness. He's aware of what it will take to keep each of us surrendered to Him. God plants His seeds into our weaknesses and His strength grows out of it. No matter what the world dictates, what the devil tells us, or even what we tell ourselves; this is what God speaks over His bride— King Solomon: How sweet is your love, my darling, my bride. How much better it is than mere wine. The perfume of your love is more fragrant than all the richest spices. Your lips, my dear, are made of honey. Yes, honey and cream are under your tongue, and the scent of your garments is like the scent of the mountains and cedars of Lebanon. “My darling bride is like a private garden, a spring that no one else can have, a fountain of my own. Songs 4:10-12 TLB Oh, how He rejoices over her and delights in the fact that she belongs to Him. Beloved, when you gave yourself to the Lover of your soul, He made you His. Remember, even when you don't believe the Truth, it makes it no less true. You are like a lovely orchard bearing precious fruit, with the rarest of perfumes; nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, and perfume from every other incense tree, as well as myrrh and aloes, and every other lovely spice. You are a garden fountain, a well of living water, refreshing as the streams from the Lebanon mountains.” Songs 4:13-15 TLB Just like her, we are fertile ground. When One with Him, we bear the fruit of the Vine. We are—redeemed in His sight—the light of the world—a sweet aroma of grace—holy in His eyes—abundant in mercy—the oil of gladness—and we soar high on wings like eagles. The [Woman]: “Come, north wind, awaken; come, south wind, blow upon my garden and waft its lovely perfume to my beloved. Let him come into his garden and eat its choicest fruits.”. Songs 4:16 TLB She knows it's only by His grace that she is able to become fully His. It is by Grace, through faith, that we are saved. God breathed life into Adam and He does the same with us. He made us His masterpiece and created us anew in Christ so we can do the good things He planned long ago. (Ephesians 2:10) Oswald Chambers wrote, "It is God’s Spirit that changes the atmosphere of our way of looking at things, and then things begin to be possible which before were impossible. Getting into God’s stride means nothing less than oneness with Him." King Solomon: “I am here in my garden, my darling, my bride! I gather my myrrh with my spices and eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk.” The Young Women of Jerusalem: “Oh, lover and beloved, eat and drink! Yes, drink deeply!”. Songs 5:1 TLB God will fill you with His Spirit. She is a well watered garden, set free and ready for the adventure He has for her. Are you? True and honest transparency with Him is an ideal place to start.

Their separation was more than she could bear so she went into the world to look for Him—but He is not of the world. As she moves past them, He is there waiting. At last they are together again—she pulls herself close to Him—she would not let Him go. Chapter 3 closes with His perfect love for His bride and an invitation. It's their wedding day! See my last post on Song of Songs 3:1-11 https://www.jenarainonesmith.com/post/i-have-found-the-one-i-adore The Man (King Solomon) You’re so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled By your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full— expressive and strong and clean. Songs 4:1-2 MSG He sees the beauty in her devotion. Where does this beauty come from? Furthermore, how is the kind of devotion God delights in even possible? Left to ourselves, it isn't. When He looks at her, He sees the sacrifice of the Savior—clean and pure—washed in grace. Oh, Beloved, how God rejoices when you turn your eyes upon Jesus. You were created by Him, for Him. So many things get in the way of this truth; you bear the Image of God. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant. The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration! Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers. The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh Invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away. Songs 4:3-6 MSG He is assuring her that she is most beautiful of all. It's only in the security of His love that we find the ability to hold tightly to Him as He molds and shapes our character into His likeness. The more time we spend with Jesus, the more like Him we become. You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless. Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. Leave Lebanon behind, and come. Leave your high mountain hideaway. Abandon your wilderness seclusion, Where you keep company with lions and panthers guard your safety. Songs 4:7-8 MSG "When the future first arrives, we most often don't recognize it." I'm not sure who said that, but boy does it resonate with me. I bet she would say it resonates with her too. He's inviting her to leave her fears behind and fully trust Him. Earlier, in His pursuit of her, she allowed fearful thoughts to creep in. However, it's different this time. Choosing to see only Him, she recognizes her future and she is ready to give herself to Him. God knows us. He knows our hesitations—our fears—our personalities. He made us. He knows what it will take for each of us to be ready to leap off the mountain and into His arms. I don't know about you, but my knees are shaking just thinking about it. I pray that as we continue to abide in Him, He will help us yield to His plan. I've shared before that the season I'm in right now is a challenging one to say the least. I have, without a doubt, found it difficult to navigate at times. However, today I'm reminded that the Gospel brings transformation in seasons. Hopefully each one will lead me to a deeper understanding of the kind of love that would cause Jesus to lay down His life to secure. You’ve captured my heart, dear friend. You looked at me, and I fell in love. One look my way and I was hopelessly in love! Songs 4:9 MSG What a thought; God has made it possible for us to captivate His heart. I wonder, when He was planning the creation of man, if He was imagining this very moment—the moment when His bride would walk toward Him—steal His heart—and take His breath away?