As the new year began and I started to put my thoughts together, it proved to be quite difficult to make sense of them. I hadn't slept in days, well, years. As the exhaustion is taking over physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually my soul becomes weary.
Over the past couple of months, I have been asking God to teach me how to trust Him more deeply; especially in this long dark season for both myself and my family.
For me, when I'm in pain, it becomes difficult to keep my eyes on Jesus. Some days it takes every bit of my ability to seek His presence. I can tend to distract myself with mindless TV, just so I don't have to think or feel or even be.
I know deep in my soul that God is right here in the pain with me, yet many times I allow the pain to drown out His voice. Knowing if I could just reach deep inside, I'd see Him extending His Hand and opening His Arms for me to rest in. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. You see, my mind deceives me. I begin to think things like, "You're God, You can do anything, but You choose to leave me here all by myself."
But Today…
Today, God reminds me that,
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted,
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed (Psalm 34:18)
Today, a quote from a wise writer of old, Oswald Chambers, encourages me, "You don't know what you are going to do. The only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing."
Today, Jesus reminds me that,
"with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26)
In the genesis of a new year, I have asked God to help me to build my confidence in Him and to teach me to trust in Him more deeply. The first lesson I've learned is that when pain makes it hard to feel God's presence, we must hold fast to what He says. He speaks to us in many ways. He never changes. And neither does His Word. It is alive and breathing and His power is in it. Oh, if I could just learn to live in His truth every minute of every day.
And still more, today, I am challenged by Oswald Chambers, "If we could see the floor of God's immediate presence, we would find it strewn with the 'toys' of God's children who have said, 'This is broken, I can't play with it anymore, please give me another present.' Only one in a thousand sits down in the midst of it all and says, 'I will watch my Father mend this.'"
May I be that one!
"O Lord, I give my life to you…show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." (Psalm 25:1,4-5)
コメント